WHY IDOLIZE MONICA AND CHANDLER AND NOT ROSS AND RACHEL
When Monica drunk kissed Chandler in season 4 at Ross’ wedding in London, the hopeless romantic in us was sitting with fingers crossed, hoping they don’t become another hookup on the show. And thankfully, they didn’t. We love Monica and Chandler individually but we love them the most together. All fictional couples compared, ‘Mondler’ is the best. Everyone’s favorite TV show, Friends showed us how adulting works in the real world. From heartbreaks to the perfect love story, we experienced it all before experiencing it for real. While Ross and Rachel’s love story felt passionate and intense, Chandler and Monica’s felt real – one that you would want for yourself.
Here are six reasons why Chandler and Monica should be the one you idolize rather than Ross and Rachel:
1. They Worked Hard At Their Relationship
At any sign of trouble in paradise, they didn’t part ways or decide to ‘take a break’. They talked about it like mature adults and worked through it. Remember when their secret weekend away in Vermont bombed? They kissed and made up realizing that a fight is not the end of the world. And they made sure to do this throughout their relationship, not just during the honeymoon phase.
2. They Were Supportive Of Each Others’ Choices
When Chandler had to relocate to Tulsa and Monica wanted to stay in New York for the job as the Head Chef at Javu’s, they both understood and respected each other’s decision. And through this long-distance marriage, Chandler came to visit her every week. Monica also flew to Tulsa to surprise her husband. They made the best of the worst situation and spiced up their life in other ways instead of fighting over it.
Ross, on the other hand, couldn’t handle when Rachel, after getting fired from Ralph Lauren, finally got a job in Paris even though they weren’t dating at the time. Rather than telling her that he still loves her and doesn’t want her to leave, he went to great lengths to keep her in New York sabotaging a great career opportunity for her. Not just that, he wasn’t supportive of Rachel’s job at Bloomingdales also simply because he was jealous of her co-worker.
3. They Made Efforts That Matter To The Other One
Remember when Chandler moved in with Monica? He tried to make the new live-in situation easier for her by cleaning the house for her. When he failed to keep up with Monica’s OCD, she appreciated his efforts nonetheless. That’s called empathy, something that Ross and Rachel didn’t quite have. Likewise, when Monica forgot to ‘make the present’ for Chandler on Valentine’s Day, she made it up to him by “cooking anything he wants in here and doing anything he wants in there”.
4. They Had Each Others’ Back
When Chandler doesn’t laugh at his boss’s lame coffee joke, Monica quickly jumped to his rescue even though she didn’t approve of “work Chandler” and thought “the guy’s a suck-up”. Chandler, in his charming way, had Monica’s back when a comment from Phoebe made her upset about her high-maintenance nature.
Ross and Rachel were there for each other, sure, but that’s not enough.
5. They Were On The Same Page, Mostly
They fell in love with each other at the same time, they decided it was time to take the relationship forward by moving in together, in fact, they decided they didn’t want to elope anymore after Ross and Rachels’ wedding in Vegas – also together. That’s how ‘on the same page’ they were. And do you remember the whole ‘I don’t believe in soul mates’ episode? Their values were similar too.
Whether it was the topic of having babies one day or getting married after having one, Ross and Rachel never got each other’s rhythms. When Rachel was in love with Ross, he had already moved on. When Ross was in love with Rachel, she gave other things priority.
6. Ego Never Came In the Way Of Their Love
Chandler and Monica proved that acknowledging your mistakes and making amends for it is the first step in a long-term relationship. For example, when Monica found out that ‘it was a set up’ and Chandler was, in fact, trying to catch her off-guard as he proposed, she forgave him for joking about never getting married and proposed to him instead. She didn’t let ego worsen the situation. A real relationship focuses on the big picture.
Rachel took it upon her ego when Ross announced that he’s bringing a date to Joey’s play and lied about bringing a +1 herself when she had none. She even suggested getting married to Joshua, after only four dates, to not lose face when Ross was getting married to Emily. Of course, the biggest example of male ego is when Ross, after sleeping with another woman, tried to justify his action by saying he and Rachel “were on a break” rather than talking to her about the break/breakup.
Chandler and Monica knew what it means to be in a committed relationship. They proved that relationships aren’t easy but they are worth it. I just have a message for all the Ross and Rachel shippers out there and I quote Monica Geller when I say, “If you’re too afraid to be in a relationship, then don’t be in one.” Fin.